


Some Kind of Joke

by gryphonshadow



Category: One Piece
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Angst, Character Study, Dark, Donquixote Doflamingo Being an Asshole, Dressrosa Arc, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Fucked Up, Gen, HEAVY emotional dialogue, Heart Pirates - Freeform, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Inappropriate Use of Akuma no Mi | Devil Fruit Powers, Mugiwara no Ichimi | Straw Hat Pirates, Nakamaship, Physical Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape Aftermath, Self-Worth Issues, Suicidal Thoughts, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Threats of Violence, Torture, Trafalgar D. Water Law Needs a Hug, Trafalgar D. Water Law-centric, Trust Issues, Victim Blaming, Whump, canon divergence and convergence, heart throne, luffy saves the day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:07:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23732080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gryphonshadow/pseuds/gryphonshadow
Summary: When Trafalgar Law’s duel with Doflamingo on Green Bit ends disastrously, he winds up the shichibukai’s prisoner. He never expected this outcome. How did it come to this? And is there any escape from this hell?AKA a dark re-telling of the events of Dressrosa and what came after.
Comments: 12
Kudos: 86





	1. Some Kind of Joke

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Please heed the tags! They are there for a reason. Graphic descriptions of violence, torture, non-con in chapter 2, and general mind-fuckery (It’s dark, guys. Really dark, and really fucked up. Proceed with caution.)
> 
> A/N: I posted chapter 1 of this fic on ff.net back in 2013. Found it backed up on my old hard drive with 90% of the second chapter written but never posted. So, 7 years later, here it is. I'll post chapter 2 in about a week and let me warn you guys, it's a tough one. FYI this fic is not 100% canon-compliant since it was written before knowing Law's backstory.
> 
> Recommended Soundtrack: I was inspired by the band AWOLNATION. Some of their songs fit Law so well. So recommended listening while reading this chapter are the songs Some Kind of Joke and THISKIDSNOTALRIGHT.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Law wakes up on the heart throne. Doflamingo plays a little game with his former subordinate.

_My teacher told me what I’m meant for_

_I beg to differ in the outcome_

_I don’t know why, I don’t know why, I don’t know why…_

_I don’t know why, I don’t know why, I don’t know why…_  
  
_There's nowhere to run_

_When you're hiding from the truth_

_It's some kind of joke_

_When the tears are bleeding blue_

_Looking-glass fun_

_When the pain is caused by you_

_It's some kind of joke_

Trafalgar Law awoke to a pounding headache and a sinking feeling in his gut. Because the darkness was calling to him and he was ready for it and instead he was awake. He was alive.

Brilliant sunlight shined through the large glass-paned windows across from him and the Surgeon of Death blinked. It was blinding. Everything hurt. He was all too aware of the uncomfortable seat his aching back was harshly pressed against, aggravating his many injuries from his earlier defeat. He tried to stand up and immediately regretted it. Threads were holding his arms down against the arm rests, pinning him to the mock-throne. Formerly invisible, the strings cut into his arms and ran red with blood.

He stared at the site numbly before shutting his eyes. Even the obnoxious checkered floor was pissing him off.

The former shichibukai slammed his head back against the backrest harshly and a low exasperated groan escaped his throat. The threads weaving circles around his neck bit into his skin drawing blood, but he didn’t care. The pain was mild compared to everything else. Though it served as an unfortunate reminder of his fate. He was still alive.

_Why?_

“Surprised you’re still alive, _hmm_?” An all too familiar voice droned from somewhere to his left. Law didn’t even look up, didn’t even open his eyes. “You know I wouldn’t let you go so easily.”

The king of Dressrosa approached his prisoner like a cat stalking a mouse. They say that cats who haven’t been properly taught by their mothers how to kill their prey would never be able to finish it off and devour it. They choose instead to play with it: batting their victims between their paws and throwing them up in the air until they grew tired of the game and slink away, leaving behind the injured animal to curl up and wait for death to claim him. Growing up in the house of an aristocrat, Joker’s mommy taught her son _nothing_.

“Welcome to my home, Law,” Donquixote Doflamingo stopped in front of his captive and grinned from ear to ear. “I saved you a seat at the family table,” He gestured at the heart-shaped chair that currently served as the younger man’s prison. “Little brother, you know I always meant for you to rule by my side. And now you’ve come home. It makes me so happy.”

_Liar_. His former subordinate said nothing. He wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. He glanced at the row of card suite-themed chairs set up in a line. It was another one of Doflamingo’s games. A mockery of what a family was, created by a madman. He frowned and didn’t give it anymore thought.

_This is all wrong. This is not according to plan. Why is this happening? He was supposed to kill me during the duel. Why didn’t he?! What is going on?_ The dark-haired man willed himself to suppress his racing thoughts and glared at his former boss. Panic wasn’t going to solve anything. As it stood now, the former shichibukai’s objective was not yet complete. He had to keep fighting, like he did all his life. He had to keep fighting through this and then he’d be free. Just a minor setback. Just a little ways to go.

Joker laughed. It was a harsh and vibrating sound that echoed all around and seemed to fill the large empty hall with his overwhelming presence.

“Why am I still alive?” Law asked, his voice almost at a whisper.

“Fufufufu,” The large man before him quieted his revelry. “You’re always so serious, Law. It’s always straight to business with you. You really need to learn to lighten up and take a joke. You need to learn to _relax_.”

With that, the blond bought one hand up and lifted a few of his fingers. The surgeon’s eyes widened. The strands looping around his body constricted further, pushing him harshly against the wooden chair. He suppressed a gasp and growled. The other man laughed again.

“Joker…” 

“You’re here because I’m not done with you yet,” Doflamingo hissed. His voice suddenly grew dead serious. “You little shit. You planned to take me down? Have me killed? Get revenge? Don’t make me laugh. You haven’t changed a bit, you arrogant, cocky brat.”

The underworld boss spat out every word in disgust. His tone was harsh. Vicious. Dangerous. The younger shichibukai tensed in spite of himself.

“I’m going to teach you a lesson in humility, boy. One you should have learned a long time ago. You want to see me fall? I’ll give you a front row seat. I’ll keep you here by my side. I’ll let you watch as your plans fall apart around you. I’ll laugh as you realize how futile your struggles were. How senseless it was going up against someone stronger than you, someone you will never be able to surpass. _I’ll break you_. And afterwards, you can let me know if your so-called _revenge_ was worth it.”

The threads around the Law’s throat tightened even more, constricting his airways. He fruitlessly gasped for air as the pressure refused to subside. Dots bounced around his vision before Joker finally released him. Gasping of air, the pirate captain struggled to think of a way out of this or at least a way to stall for time. Blood dripped down his neck in rivets. Ceasar was away from the underworld broker’s grasp and Luffy and the others had to be close to destroying the factory. Doflamingo talks big, but even he would not be able to escape the wrath of the yokou Kaido if he were to lose his grip over the Smile trade. But the dark doctor was exhausted. His powers were pushed to the limit during their fight and his body was still too weak to make a room large enough to execute a decent escape plan. Joker knew this. That’s why he wasn’t even using seastone to keep him restrained. That’s why he was grinning at him with all the confidence in the world.

_Dammit._ _Why was it that he had to constantly resort to stalling for time?_ It made him feel weak. Powerless to fight back.

“What are you going to do? Turn me into one of your toys?” He asked defiantly. 

“No…” Doflamingo said after a momentary pause, facial features relaxing into a frown. He answered slowly, as if he were seriously contemplating the question. “That would be…redundant.”

Hating to be taken lightly, Law scowled at the implications.

“And I rather like you like this. Turning you into a puppet would just be boring and somewhat…disappointing.”

“Dammit, I told you I was going to bring your reign to an end. I meant it,” the younger growled, and tried to change the topic. Doflamingo still made him feel like a petulant child. He knew exactly what to say to get under his skin and make him lose his usually icy composure. Law _hated_ it. “You think you’re untouchable. It’s about time you find out just how wrong you are. So I don’t care what you do to me. You’re going down.”

“Truthfully, your obsession with me is a little disconcerting.” Dolfamingo brushed the threat aside like dirt, his carefree demeanor returning along with the wide smile. The bound doctor grit his teeth, his face livid at not being taken seriously once again. “You could have run away and never looked back. With your skills, you could have had a nice, quiet life as a doctor somewhere on the grand line. You could have forgotten all about me and simply lived your life. But instead, you came crawling back, looking for vengeance thirteen years too late for it to matter anymore.”

“Fuck you. That was never an option.”

“Hmm, then I suppose I should be touched that you went through the effort of becoming a shichibukai just to get close to me,” Doflamingo stalked closer. “But you know, if you wanted my attention…” he placed a hand on the younger man’s chest, right across the Jolly Roger etched permanently onto his skin, and pushed him firmly against the back of the chair with the tips of his fingers. He leaned in and Law recoiled from the closeness. “You could have just asked.”

The dark-haired man shuddered. He didn’t need a reminder to know that this man was dangerous.

“You grew up to be a fine young man. I’m going enjoy tearing you apart.” The shichibukai whispered in his ear and tentatively licked the trail of blood running down his neck. He chuckled as he sensed the dark-haired man’s heartbeat quicken under his palm, relishing the complete control he had over the supernova.

“You sick, depraved son of a bitch.” Law swore, feeling the larger man’s calloused hands glide along his skin, one arm snaking around his abdomen and trailing up his back. The threads dug into his skin when he flinched from the unexpected contact, reminding him that there was nowhere to run. That he couldn’t do _anything._ He shut his eyes. If he didn’t get out of this soon, things were going to get a lot worse for him.

“Fufufufu… Yes, I’ll enjoy breaking you,” the former tennrybito pulled away slowly, almost reluctantly. “But not now. Not today. Today we’re going to play a game.”

The captain of the Heart Pirates almost sighed with relief. Almost. Because when he opened his eyes and saw what the blond held in his hands, his blood froze in his veins.

“You still keep this on you? How predictable.” The underworld broker tossed a small black box in between his hands, gazing at his former protégée expectantly. The other tore his eyes away from the metal object and returned with stare with a look of utter hatred. “You remember our little game, don’t you?”

Law remembered. Oh, how he remembered.

The tall blond flipped open the case with expert ease and studied the contents. “You got some new toys, kid. How exciting.”

The doctor seethed.

“Should we try something new?” Doflamingo deliberated, his long fingers running across the metal tools inside. His movements stopped, hand hovering over the box teasingly. “Or should we go with the classic…?”

Law stared numbly as his former boss rummaged through his surgical tool kit, the kit he kept on him in his coat at all times just in case. On the Grand Line there was rarely ready access to a clean medical facility (except on the submarine). Impromptu field operations were not pleasant but often necessary. And with his skills and devil fruit powers, they were doable. The kit had saved him and his nakama countless times. It was a lifesaver.

And now Doflamingo was using it against him—not to heal but to hurt.

The shichibukai crouched in front of him, bending his knees and putting all of his weight on his toes. Due to his inhuman height, he was still above eye level with the restrained captain. He rested the open metal case on his left knee and picked out a scalpel, offering it handle-first to his captive. Then he brought his empty right hand up. The raven-haired man winced as he felt the threads around his right arm loosening then tightening again, releasing him from the chair but not quite letting go.

The puppet master’s fingers twitched and Law was forced to unwillingly reach for the surgical tool, his shaking fingers closing around the handle. He fought back with all his might but couldn’t break free. The strings were too strong and he was not at full strength. Usually the scalpel felt comfortable in his hands. Easy. Natural. Right. But this was anything but. His usually impeccably steady hands trembled and the blade felt heavy, sinister.

“You remember the rules, don’t you?” Joker inquired, resting his left hand across the toolbox and observing the younger pirate with an easy smile. His eyes never wavered from his captive as he studied the doctor’s every movement. The only warning that Law got was a sudden twitch at the corner of the broker’s mouth. His fingers moved and the surgeon reacted out of pure instinct.

“Room.”

A small blue sphere formed around the supernova’s body just as he was forced to cut at his left hand with his right. The scalpel pierced through his hand, the one that was still secured palm down to the arm of the throne and the cut ran through his flesh and the wood underneath. But there was no pain.

Success. 

Of course he remembered the rules. He knew this game well. With his room in place, he activated his powers. As long as he was holding the implement, the blade just sliced through his body without consequence. This ability was perfect for performing operations, of course, since the point was to cause as little harm as possible to the patient while at the same time opening them up. So, when Doflamingo used his powers to force him to cut at himself, the blade went straight through his flesh without damaging him permanently. At least, that was the idea.

“Hmmm, still got it,” the blond noted. “I almost feel uneasy about not using seastone. Those powers of yours are a real pain in the ass.”

“I told you time and time again. Not taking me seriously will be your downfall,” the captain of the Heart Pirates replied levelly and took down his room. There was no point in wasting the energy to keep it up consistently. He would only tire faster.

“No matter. It’s just a matter of time.” Another subtle movement of the fingers and Law’s hand came down unwillingly, threatening to maim himself once again. Shallow cuts were child’s play, but the danger of this game was the threat of cutting through a major artery. Or taking off a finger. Or an entire hand.

“Room.”

The scalpel cut through him harmlessly a second time. Doflamingo whistled. 

“I am impressed that you still have so much energy left.”

The doctor grimaced. Doflamingo knew the limitations of his powers far too well for comfort. After all, this was the man that helped the former shichibukai tap into the vast potential of the Ope Ope no mi so long ago. And thus he knew exactly how to turn those powers against him. For Law, a man that understood the value of knowledge—knowledge of strategy, of the situation, and of your opponents’ weaknesses—that was absolutely unforgivable.

Another cut. And then another. Law tried fruitlessly to resist the controlling strands of the Ito Ito no mi but in the end had to resort to his own powers every time to prevent himself from permanently cutting through his own flesh. The psycho controlling his body varied the strikes. Sometimes he would go for his wrist where the main arteries lie. Other times he would attempt to take off a finger. The Surgeon of Death tried to keep his rooms as small as possible, only encircling his hand. Nevertheless, he could feel himself tiring with the effort to keep them up cut after cut.

That was Doflamingo’s game. As a kid, he learned all of the tricks; all of the strategies to keep himself whole for as long as possible. His ‘mentor’ claimed the exercise would build his stamina. And it did. Pain was a very powerful motivator. The longer this game went on, the more exhausted he became and could no longer maintain his rooms due to either his powers becoming depleted or losing concentration due to the pain.

“Not a scratch, hmmm? That just won’t do. This is getting boring,” Joker controlled the younger’s hand again, this time trying to stab the surgical implement into the center of his hand, straight through the circular tattoo, with enough force to dig into the wood of the chair outside the boundary of his room.

“That won’t work,” Law growled, his mind focused on maintaining his saving grace. He could feel a headache coming on.

This was no exercise. Not this time. Joker’s objective was not to teach him anything (though whether it was thus in the past was equally suspect; Law liked to think the blond man just plain got off on blood and pain). This time, the sadist merely wanted to deplete the supernova’s powers, both out of necessity and as a display of control. Doflamingo was painstakingly showing him that he had the ability to render his former employee powerless, even without the use of seastone. That the younger’s devil fruit, a source of strength and pride for the captain, would not save him.

The king of Dressrosa paused momentarily after forcing him to pull the scalpel out of the chair. He would do this on occasion, making the unwilling participant in the game think about whether it was worth taking down his room or maintaining it for just a little longer, just in case the madman made him slice at himself again soon after. This time, the bound pirate took down his room a little too late. With a twitch of his fingers, the blond made him bring the scalpel across his fingers swiftly and Law was a half a second late summoning his powers. The blade drew blood at the surface of his skin before the blue sphere covered his hand again, rendering the rest of the cut harmless.

“Finally,” Doflamingo smirked. The next strike was fully prevented. But the one after that and then the third bit into the skin of his fingers.

_This was no good_ , Law thought. He was tiring quickly. He could no longer create rooms as quickly as before, nor maintain them. And his former boss was just getting started; he was testing him—getting the feel of how much more he could take. Another slash and this time he tensed when he noticed that he wasn’t going to make it in time. The game was becoming dangerous.

“Fufufufufu,” the underworld broker snickered and leaned closer to his living puppet. “What would a doctor be without the use of his hands? Stakes are high, Law-chan. Pay attention.”

The doctor didn’t waste the energy to reply, though he wanted to snap back with a snarky comment of his own. Instead, he panted from the effort of summoning his powers. He could feel sweat beading on his brow and dripping down, mixing with the blood and irritating the skin around the threads still wound around his neck. His abilities should not be used so much in such a short amount of time. It took a serious toll on his already injured body.

Joker forced him to bring the scalpel down across the middle of his forearm with enough force to cut through the bone and almost take off his arm. The young captain concentrated hard and managed to summon his room in time, but didn’t expect what came after. Without warning, Doflamingo lunged forward, catching him off guard, and stabbed an extremely sharp lancet into his thigh, burying the metal tool deep in the bone. 

Law screamed.

The pain was excruciating. His room dissipated instantly. The scalpel, still in mid-swing, cut through the rest of his arm from the inside out. He reflexively kicked out with his foot and his entire body jolted from the shock of the sudden pain. The abrupt movement made it worse—the threads still encircling his neck and arm sliced into his skin, both restraining and lacerating him further.

“Fufufufufu!” Laughing, the shichibukai used the opportunity to force the younger pirate to slice another gash in his own arm. The captive yelped and grit his teeth, trying to suppress any noise of distress. His entire body shook from the pain and he had to will himself to calm down, to be still, in order to avoid injuring himself further. His breath came out in labored pants. Doflamingo kept his left hand on the handle of the blade still stuck deep in Law’s leg. “Concentrate, kid. You don’t want to die just yet.”

He gripped the surgical tool and twisted it harshly to the right, jamming it further into the bone. The doctor threw his head back as far as he was able and cried out again.

Joker grinned wide.

Law fought to regain composure. He hissed as his body involuntarily curled up from the pain in his thigh which radiated through the pierced bone and up his spine. He clenched his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut, opening them again only just in time to notice the king’s fingers move again.

“R..room!”

This time, the blue sphere came out pathetically small and dissipated in seconds. He just narrowly avoided stabbing through the veins in his own wrist.

“Careful now. You’re slipping.”

The game continued.

The underworld broker forced the exhausted captain to stab at himself again and again. The former shichibukai tried to summon his room to protect himself but his efforts became more and more erratic and desperate. He couldn’t… He couldn’t keep it up any longer. He was far past the limits of his endurance. His powers drained him of all his strength and he fought to suppress the rising panic threatening to overwhelm him. His head was pounding. His vision swam. He couldn’t think straight. He couldn’t predict where the next slash would fall or whether he was actually going to lose a finger this time. The thought of it terrified him.

Doflamingo moved his right hand again and forced Law to switch the scalpel from one hand to the other. He freed his captive’s left arm which was now covered in various lacerations from the blade and the strings when he tried to pull away. His right hand was violently restrained to the arm of the throne and the process started all over again. Blood trickled from his open cuts, creating cascading rivulets of crimson that dripped down the side of the wooden throne.

Law tried to force himself not to think about how this wasn’t supposed to be happening and that he was supposed to be dead already. That he wasn’t supposed to go out in this way. That the plan was falling apart. That this was wrong, completely wrong. He had to suppress those traitorous thoughts because if he gave into that kind of thinking, he would fall into despair. And that’s exactly what Joker wanted.

God, it hurt. His leg was killing him.

He _hated_ that psychotic bastard and he _really_ hated his Ito Ito no mi powers. The humiliating loss of control… The fear…

As a child, he had fled across the entire world to escape this: across mountains and endless seas, through thick jungles and eternal deserts. Even deep underwater where not even the rays of the sun could find him. He had trained. He had gotten stronger and more skilled: as a doctor, as a fighter… And nothing had changed.

“You will get your wish,” the calm and confident voice of his captor almost startled him. The dark haired man hadn’t noticed when that insidious laughter and the slashes across his flesh ceased. “You will die here, Law.”

Slumped against the heart throne with no strength left to keep himself upright, held in place only by the damned strings, the Surgeon of Death had no energy to fight back. He breathed heavily, wearily…exhausted. All he could do was watch with cold, tired eyes as he was unwillingly forced to press the scalpel deep into the back of his hand.

“But you will die on my terms and only when I am done with you,” Doflamingo continued.

The bound captain dragged the blade slowly and carefully in a diagonal across the circular tattoo etched on his skin. The scalpel bit deep into his flesh, leaving behind a sizeable gash. Blood welled up instantly, spilled across the surface of his hand, and dripped onto his jeans. It will surely scar, he noted.

“Only after I’ve taken _everything_ away from you. Every last shred of dignity you still possess. All of your pride. Every bit of your soul.”

He was made to switch hands and repeat the same familiar mark on his other hand.

“Because I own you, Law. You are mine.”

His entire body shook in indignant anger. Clenching his fist around the arm of the chair, he dug his fingernails into the wood of the throne. 

“And you will die when I let you. No earlier.”

The bloodied scalpel slide from his weak grasp and unceremoniously fell to the marble floor with a faint clink. It rolled across the tiled surface to rest not far from the surgeon’s misused tool kit that lay forgotten by the foot of the chair. The king’s psychotic laughter resonated throughout the entire cavernous hall. The unsettling sound seemed to hang in the air even after the shichibukai stood up to full height, gave his former colleague one last disdainful sneer, and casually left without looking back.

Now alone, Trafalgar Law stared, transfixed, at his ruined hands. They were marred with numerous gashes, both deep and shallow. The blood from the cuts covered his hands, forearms, and the wood of the mock-throne. The small yet razor-sharp lancet was still buried in his thigh and the fabric of his jeans around the wound was stained a deep red. He couldn’t even move to take the infernal thing out since he was still bound by the nearly invisible threads.

But the worst… the worst injuries were the diagonal slashes across the back of his hands. The impossibly deep cuts ran from the top right to the bottom left of the circular tattoos. It was a sick parody of Doflamingo’s jolly roger: the mark of the Donquixote Family. The young captain’s breath hitched in his throat. It had taken a lot of ink to cover up that mark ten years ago. And now, he was once again branded with it. This time permanently.

He grit his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut to disperse the tears of outrage and frustration that threatened to spill down his cheeks.

This was some kind of joke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 will be posted sometime next week. Heed the warnings and the tags- the next chapter will be darker than this one.


	2. THISKIDSNOTALRIGHT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Doflamingo continues to take his anger out on his captive, then proceeds to lecture Law about the futility of revenge and the value of family. Law is not amused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: Non-con. I've put a break at the start and end so you can skip that part if you want to.
> 
> Soundtrack: THISKIDSNOTALRIGHT by Awolnation. What is it about Awolnation songs that reminds me of Law? I dunno...

_Troubles coming for the free man.  
We shake them, shake them with the free hand.  
So stand tall, shout out with me.  
  
Do your dirty work without me.  
Say you're best when no one can see.  
Stand up, catch fire with me.  
  
This kid's not alright.  
This kid's not alright.  
This kid's not alright.  
But this kid's not alright._

The blood from the wound in his leg had not quite dried before Donquixote Doflamingo paid the young captain another visit. It hurt like a bitch when the shichibukai finally tore the scalpel out whilst laughing like a madman and Law soon realized that his captor had every intention of keeping his promise. He did not play the same game again, though he made sure to keep his prisoner in a state of almost unbearable agony. In that time the doctor became well acquainted with the checkered tile floor. But beatings were nothing new; Law had experienced plenty of them in the past. It was nothing he couldn’t handle.

Doflamingo was trying to wear him down. But he wasn’t going to go down without a fight.

Because that’s what it came down to, Trafalgar Law told himself over and over again: This was just another battle. True, he hadn’t expected this to happen; being captured alive was not part of the original plan. But it made little difference in the grand scheme of things: He was going to die anyways. And this little detour was serving as an effective distraction to buy his allies ample time to complete their mission. So it was alright.

What difference did it make that his hands were all cut up? Or that he couldn’t bend his leg without screaming? Or that it hurt to breath? Or that there had to be internal organ damage because he keeps coughing up blood? It didn’t matter, did it?

Joker was going to die.

He just had to keep fighting a little bit longer. Just a little bit. And then it would be over.

He repeated this to himself in between kicks to his abdomen, his stomach, and his back and refused to give Doflamingo the satisfaction of watching him break.

It was difficult to tell how much time had gone by since he first woke up on that contemptible throne. It could have been hours or it could have been days. There was also no way of knowing what was going on in Dressrosa. How was the plan coming along? Were the Strawhats close to destroying the factory? Was Luffy really fighting in the colosseum like Doflamingo said, or was he actually following orders this time?

The only indication he got was his former boss’s erratic behavior. The more violent he got, the more likely it was that the Strawhats were following through with the mission. One time when the blond stormed into the hall without saying a word, the beating was especially bad. Law didn’t know what came over him then but he couldn’t help it. He laughed.

“What the hell is so funny, kid?” Joker frowned, not expecting such a response. The younger pirate’s laughter dissolved into a coughing fit and he received another kick in the side from the impatient man. “Answer me!”

“You’re angry,” the surgeon replied as soon as he regained his breath. It came out as little more than a whisper. 

Doflamingo cocked his head to the side, displeased.

“It’s good that you’re angry,” he wheezed out haughtily, fixing the tall shichibukai with a wry smile. The other remained stoic. “It means…you have something to be angry about….something that isn’t going your way. It means….you’re _afraid_.”

That was a mistake. He comes to regret those words after Doflamingo grabs him by the hair and drags him to his bedroom, making good on his threats from before.

**\---[TRIGGER WARNING]---**

“It seems you still have _hope_ that your plan will succeed,” the much larger man spat as he pinned his former subordinate to the large bed by the throat, squeezing enough to block the pirate’s airways. “I’m going to show you just how wrong you are.”

Doflamingo growled and tore the younger shichibukai’s coat from his shoulders. He tossed it dismissively onto the floor at the chagrin of the Heart Pirate, who was now left naked from the waist up. A feeling of dread settled in the captain’s stomach, his insides churning with the thought of what was to come.

Law kicked and struggled and scratched and clawed at the hands holding him down but it was useless.

The king of Dressroasa lifted one hand up and suddenly Law found his wrists pinned above his head by nearly invisible wires. The hand around his throat disappeared and he gasped loudly, trying to fill his oxygen-starved lungs with much needed air.

Doflamingo chuckled darkly and proceeded to undo his captive’s belt while the other struggled furiously beneath him. But there was nothing he could do as the shichibukai stripped him completely. With his pants below his knees, Law had never felt so vulnerable and exposed. He shuddered internally as he noted his aggressor sweep his gaze up his body. On the outside, however, he put on a brave front. Mouth set in a permanent scowl, he glared up at the king with hate-filled eyes. “You sick, depraved, son of a bitch.”

The other smirked sardonically in response and pressed him down more firmly on the bed. The captain grit his teeth and shuddered with revulsion. He could feel hands sliding up and down his body, grasping and prodding at the injuries already there. Without warning, those same hands flipped him onto his stomach, the strings of the Ito Ito no mi still holding his wrists above his head.

_This can’t be happening,_ an errant traitorous thought crossed the young pirate’s mind. _I was supposed to be dead. This wasn’t part of the plan. The plan is falling apart. This wasn’t supposed to happen._ But he couldn’t think that way. He couldn’t. Without conviction, without confidence, there was nothing stopping Doflamingo from getting what he wanted. And there wasn’t a chance in hell Law was going to let him watch him break. A few tense moments passed. Law could feel the other man move above him, adjusting his position. No, he wouldn’t play into that bastard’s hand so easily. He wouldn’t be afraid and he wouldn’t show weakness, no matter what suffering the sadist put him through. Beatings, torture… He’s had worse in the past. Rape…couldn’t be much different. It didn’t matter what happened to him. Donquixote Doflamingo was going down. So Law willed himself to go numb.

_It’s alright. It doesn’t matter what happens. Doflamingo will die. It doesn’t matter._ He repeated over and over in his head like a mantra. However, all thoughts of the plan disappeared from his mind when the pain started.

He didn’t scream. He _howled_. The pain was excruciating and it wouldn’t stop. He yelled and cursed until his throat was raw and the shrieks dissolved into incoherent hisses, gasps and whimpers. Doflamingo’s pace was unrelenting.

Through the haze of pain and shock the young doctor felt the rhythm slow and the thrusts deepen. The shichibukai tightened his grip and crushed the pirate closer against him, his breathing deepening.

“No…” Law turned his head to meet his attacker’s eyes and begged. The pain was bad enough. But this…this was much worse. “Don’t. Please don’t.”

The blond chuckled darkly, not bothering to hide the pleasure he derived from the fear and desperation in his former subordinate’s voice. Knowing he had caused it. His pace grew more savage as he grew closer to climax, the younger pirate’s repeated pleas to relent falling on deaf ears. Suddenly, he grabbed the doctor’s hair and jerked his head back to face him. His smile grew larger as he groaned in satisfaction and finally came. Law’s eyes widened in shock for a split second and his body froze.

**\---[END TRIGGER WARNING]---**

In the end, the young captain rolled off the edge of the bed and collapsed on the tile floor. The sudden impact with the hard tiles jarred his injured body and tore the air from his lungs. He reached for his coat and curled up instinctively to try to lessen the agony shooting up his spine **.** He lay there for quite some time, not daring to move or speak. The pain was worse, far worse than what he imagined in his head, and far worse than the beatings from before. He tried in vain to keep his medically-trained mind from subconsciously listing off his latest injuries because he could feel the blood dripping down his legs and he knew he was seriously hurt and at this point it was too much and he felt like he’s been torn apart. The shame burned deep within him and he wondered why the shichibukai wouldn’t just kill him already. 

Dark thoughts that lingered at the corners of his mind and tinted every memory of before swirled around in his head as he slipped in and out of unconsciousness. There had been nightmares, he distinctly remembered, in the months after. Of what could have been if he stayed. If he continued to work under Doflamingo. If he hadn’t escaped. Because he did escape, didn’t he? Cora-san freed him.

He made a name for himself. He even formed his own crew who, despite everything, had stuck with him through thick and thin. A crew who was now safe in Zhou far away from this madness.

Where the hell was Strawhat-ya? All they had to do was destroy the factory. They were certainly taking their damn time. He put his trust in them. And now…

He gasped audibly and instinctively curled up, but it did little to lessen the agonizing pain shooting up his spine. His breath came out labored and uneven as the panic that had overwhelmed him refused to subside.

\---

Fugitora halted mid step as the double doors just ahead of him suddenly burst open. Doflamingo casually stepped into the hallway and almost ran into the admiral in the process. The former stepped back just in time and the king gave him a grinning sidelong glance.

“Fugitora. Back again?”

“Doflamingo—” The older man didn’t finish. His attention was suddenly diverted elsewhere at the room behind the towering shichibukai. Though he was blind, Fugitora could instantly sense that there was something wrong; he could smell blood. That, and the distinct sound of haggard breaths and whimpers coming from inside. It was the young shichibukai: Trafalgar Law. There was something else, too. Along with the blood, the air was heavy with the smell of sweat and something else…

Sometimes, it seemed, it would be better to be blind to the horrors of this world.

Fugitora fixed Doflamingo with a stern stone-faced look. The other smirked in return. He didn’t bother closing the door behind him; didn’t bother to hide any evidence of the act of violence within. The admiral narrowed his eyes, frown deepening. It wasn’t that the shichibukai didn’t care if he knew. No, Doflamingo purposefully wanted him to know. He was—for lack of a better word—showing off. Showing what he was capable of, what he could get away with, just because there was nothing stopping him. The grin was infuriating.

“What you did to that young man…” Fugitora kept his voice low, almost growling in warning. This was going too far.

“What?” Joker interrupted. “Don’t tell me you suddenly care what happens to this brat? You want to get rid of the shichibukai. I’ve just started for you.”

“This is low, even for a scoundrel like you,” the admiral replied levelly.

“Oh?” The tall man scoffed, adjusting his coat. “Where was this righteousness when you helped me take him down or when I put three bullet-holes in his chest? You marines are nothing but a bunch of hypocrites with a really fucked up sense of justice. At least I don’t claim to be virtuous then turn a blind eye when it suits me.”

The swordsman said nothing, his troubled thoughts wandering to the young man shaking apart on the floor. Doflamingo started to walk away then paused mid-step, a smile splitting on his face. He looked back at the admiral slyly and spoke slowly.

“I’ll tell you what: If my methods of disciplining my subordinates _really_ bother you… Then you could add that to your list when you finally come after me. Sound fair?

“You won’t get away with this,” the admiral replied after a momentary pause, the infuriating patronizing tone of his current ally causing him to grit his teeth in anger.

“So I keep hearing,” Doflamingo’s upper lip twitched in annoyance. “Run along, now. We seem to have enemies at the door that must be stopped. That is your job, partner, isn’t it?”

Joker turned on his heel and walked off laughing, leaving the marine to his devices. The older man listened silently as his footsteps and his laughter disappeared down the hallway, leaving nothing but the sound of the Shichibukai Law’s ragged breathing and occasional whimpers of pain. The admiral approached the pirate cautiously, well-aware of the other’s propensity toward deception, but there was no need. The young man didn’t seem to register his presence at all; at the sound of footsteps he merely curled up tighter and buried himself in his blood-soaked coat. A flash of pity tugged on his heart and he found himself reaching up to slip off his cloak to cover up the trembling pirate but after a moment’s contemplation he let his hand fall to his side. Tightening his grip on the pommel of his cane, Fujitora pivoted and stalked off in the opposite direction. 

\---

“Aww… Does it hurt?”

Law tensed. He hadn’t even detected Joker’s presence.

“That’s too fucking bad,” Doflamingo intoned, leisurely approaching the prone captain. “You messed up, kid. And now you’re paying the price.”

He hissed as the shichibukai grabbed his jacket by the back of the collar and dragged him across the floor back into the main hall. Joker threw his prisoner down at the foot of the heart throne, evoking a slight whimper from the younger man. He stepped back, quietly observing as the doctor writhed on the tile floor and curled up tighter in his blood-soaked coat.

“Such a shame. What a waste of talent,” He spoke softly, his voice suddenly laced with genuine remorse. “Do you know why I’m doing this, Law?”

“I don’t think you need a reason…sadistic bastard,” the young captain finally spat after a moment’s hesitation and Doflamingo shook his head. He rocked back on his heels, a resigned look on his face.

“Think what you will, but it really does sadden me that I have to go this far. Yet you’ve left me no choice; you brought this on yourself.”

“Fuck you,” Law braced himself against the bloody tiles with one hand and push his body up to glare at the shichibukai in outrage. The blond smiled coldly.

“Already did that. My, you’re insatiable.”

The young pirate froze.

“Fufufufu! You’re a fool, Law. You wonder why I still treat you like a child? You haven’t _learned_. It’s been thirteen years and you haven’t changed a bit.” The head of the Donquixote family explained. “Honestly, it’s quite disappointing. You never lived up to my expectations, even after I granted you your freedom.”

“Cora-san freed me, not—” Law growled, shocked at the audacity of the older man’s off-handed comment.

Doflamingo cut him off.

“No, kid,” he sighed, running a hand through his short hair. “ _I let you go.”_

Law glared.

“After you ran away, I didn’t go after you. I let you roam free to see what you would do. I could have dragged you back any time I wanted, but I didn’t. Oh, don’t get me wrong. I kept tabs on you, _of course_. And when you became a shichibukai I knew I had to be extra careful so I sent Monet and Vergo to watch over you as a precaution,” he went on and Law listened incredulously. “You had your freedom. You could have built a new life for yourself. If you were so upset, you could have forgiven, forgotten, and moved on. You could have pursued your dream: do you remember? You had a dream once, too, as I recall. Sure, it was something to do with killing everybody, but who am I to judge? What happened to that?”

The doctor grit his teeth, shuddering with indignant fury. _There was no way._ That was _never_ an option, not after what he did.

“No, you wasted the opportunity I gave you. This is the age of _dreams!_ And all you can think of is the _past!_ Even if my brother helped you out all those years ago, _what the hell_ was the use of saving your miserable life?”

“Shut up!”

“But something still doesn’t make sense to me. I wonder…” Doflamingo paced back and forth ignoring the young captain at his feet. He held one finger up to his chin in contemplation, “what did you tell your crew to get them to follow you all these years? Did you tell him you were going after One Piece? Did you promise them glory? Wealth? Adventure?”

Law grew quiet and the shichibukai smirked, knowing from the look on his former protégée’s face that he hit a nerve.

“Did you _lie_ to them, Law? Like you _lied_ to the Strawhats?”

***

_The ocean is calm and the blue sky stretches as far as the eye could see. The crew gathered on the deck under the blinding sun. Seeing as the submarine rarely surfaced, it was a rare moment indeed. However, it wasn’t a peaceful one._

_“What do you mean we still aren’t going to the New World?!” Penguin exclaimed in dismay._

_“No need to get hasty. It’s not as though One Piece is going anywhere,” Law stated calmly, leisurely reclining on his sleeping furry navigator._

_This hapless logic did little to appease his anxious crew. They grumbled, eager to join the other pirate crews in what was assumed to be the proper next stage of their adventure. Their captain had other plans._

_“Quite whining and just follow my orders. There’s a throne waiting for us. Never doubt it.”_

***

“Tsk, tsk,” he scolded. “What a selfish, cold-hearted bastard. I wouldn’t do that to my family. It’s no wonder you’re all alone now. I sure as hell wouldn’t stick around. Hmm… Did you sneak away before anyone noticed where you had gone…before they realized you had used them and then cast them aside? Or _did you tell them you were coming back_?” he chuckled in amusement at the thought. “They’ll be waiting for a long time yet, kid. I almost feel bad for them. You have a good crew.”

That little inkling of truth in Joker’s words...it was too much.

“Maybe after I kill you, I’ll pay them a visit and tell them everything. I wonder what they’ll say when they find out you never had any intention of leading them to the One Piece?”

“You have no right to lecture me about—”

“Shut up.” Another kick to the side. Everything hurt.

“You let your anger and your bitterness consume you, all in your quest for revenge. You became so _obsessed_ that you grew blind to everything else. But let me tell you: revenge isn’t going to bring back the dead,” the blond added pointedly and Law flinched. “Nor will it change what happened to you; what I _did_ to you. It won’t erase those memories, just like it won’t change the past.”

Law stared at the ground numbly, silently, even as his body shook from the most recent trauma.

“You _wasted_ the freedom you had. You plotted and cheated and lied for _thirteen years_ just for the chance to take me down and for what? _For what?!_ ”

Cold nonchalance turned to murderous rage like the flip of a switch. Doflamingo brought his foot down, grinding the heel of his shoe on the prone captain’s back.

“All I see in front of me is a petulant, angry brat in denial! Is _this_ what you wanted, Law? Look where it’s gotten you! Where those thirteen years worth _this_?”

And suddenly the humiliation of being lectured by the man who made his life hell was almost too much to handle.

“My only regret is taking this long to finish you off.”

Doflamingo raised his eyebrows, a little taken aback.

“You were never going to let me go!” Law’s voice cracked. Joker was purposefully goading him, trying to rile him up. That much was clear. But he was pushed far beyond the breaking point, and suddenly all of his outrage and frustration began to spill over. He forced himself to push aside any thoughts of anything else— his crew, the Strawhats, the plan— and focused on his anger. He was sick of it. Sick of being taken lightly. Sick of being treated like a child. Sick of being humiliated and degraded and hurt. Sick of not being able to do a fucking thing about it. Law mustered up enough strength to kick out and roll away from the taller man. Adrenaline helped him through the rest.

“Even if I forgot about you— even if I let go and never planned to see you again— you would have never let me live out my life in peace! This goddamn chair is proof of that!”

Doflamingo shrugged, as if to say ‘oh, you don’t know that,’ a bemused smirk on his lips. He wanted to see how far this would go. He was curious— what would the kid do?

“Don’t give me that shit— and don’t you _dare_ lecture me!” His voice was hoarse but he continued, his throat sore from screaming.

“You’re a liar and a psychopath. Everywhere you go you bring death and ruin! You have no remorse for your actions: not for the lives you’ve destroyed nor for the pain you’ve caused. You have no love for your family, no love for anyone but yourself. I can see that now! Cora-san taught me that, before you _killed_ him.”

He knew his words weren’t making a lot of sense, but it didn’t matter. Any semblance of self-control left him and every word came out more desperate and furious than the last.

“Your brother. Your own brother! You don’t give a damn, _do you?!_ ”

Joker grinned, cocking his head to the side.

“Corasan meant nothing to me. He was annoying and troublesome, that’s all he could ever be! I did him a favor by killing him that day.”

“You asshole,” Law spat. “Fuck you.”

Doflamingo stalked closer and Law flinched back. This was a bad idea, but he was sick of not having the upper hand and far too angry to give a damn.

“Telling me about being a Celestial Dragon was a mistake, Joker,” he started.

“Oh?”

“Now I know for sure: it’s too late for you. You will be dethroned today,” Law smirked. “That is the _‘Will of D!’_ ”

Joker’s face darkened, the veins in his neck pulsing. He finally struck a cord. _Good._

“Ridiculous,” the older pirate growled.

The air around him grew heavy, ominous. Law could sense the shichibukai’s murderous rage directed at him once again and he shuddered, errant thoughts of the earlier beatings and abuse swirled around in his head. This was a bad idea, after all. He flinched back as Doflamingo reached down to grab him by the hair and pull him up to eye-level.

“Clearly you still don’t know your place.”

“Don’t touch me!” sheer panic took over and any ration thought left was replaced with the overwhelming instinct to run away, fly away, get away. “Don’t you _fucking_ touch me!”

He tore away from the shichibukai’s grasp and stumbled across the cold blood-stained tiles. His body shook with the effort and every muscle screamed in protest and it hurt but the alternative was so much worse. It briefly crossed his mind how ridiculous and pathetic he must look now, but the thought was gone in a second. It didn’t matter. He had to get away. He had to. His foot slipped on a swath of blood, still wet, and he tumbled gracelessly to the floor. He could feel Doflamingo right behind him.

‘ _Fu fu fu fu fu…’_ The laughter rang in his ears. There was nowhere to go. He had barely any energy left and this was another a very bad idea but the panic from earlier started setting in again he didn’t care anymore.

“Room!”

A look of confusion crossed Doflamingo’s face as his former subordinate vanished.

“Tch,” the blond frowned, still angry. Law won’t get far. His body slowly unraveled into strings as the mad King of Dressrosa took down his clone from afar. He had bigger fish to fry.

“Fucking brat.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I don’t like it when authors fetishize non-con and turn it into a gratuitous pairing/porn thing. I am just hoping it didn’t carry across like that in this fic. 
> 
> Anyways, I hope to actually finish this with a chapter 3, exploring the aftermath of this whole mess. Once I finish writing it. Hopefully it takes me less than 7 years, but I ain’t promising anything.


	3. Sail

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This canon divergence converges back into the canon storyline in a condensed re-telling of the rest of the events of Dressrosa. Also, Law reunites with his crew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags have been changed slightly as I changed the direction of this fic to be more Heart Pirates centric. I think it works better this way.
> 
> Soundtrack: Sail by Awolnation

_Maybe I should cry for help_   
_Maybe I should kill myself_   
_Blame it on my A.D.D. baby_

_Maybe I'm a different breed_   
_Maybe I'm not listening_   
_So blame it on my A.D.D. baby_

_Sail!_   
_Sail!_   
_Sail!_   
_Sail!_   
_Sail!_

Falling. He was falling. The room directly below the hall of suits also had vaulted ceilings and thus the drop was higher than he expected. Teleporting to a spot he couldn’t see came with its risks and the floor was approaching faster than he was ready for. He tried to roll out of the drop but the maneuver came out sloppy at best and he felt his ankle take most of his weight, buckling under him as he landed. Great. Another injury to add to the collection. 

At least this room was empty. The doctor had ended up in the middle of a long corridor of sorts, with windows on one side and multiple doors lining the other. He panted and dragged himself up onto one knee, taking the moment to try to steady his breathing and regain control. 

His respite was short lived. A nagging at the back of his mind caused him to jerk his head up towards the doorway at the end of the hall. He felt a familiar presence. Fugitora. 

Law squeezed his eyes shut as the admiral approached him slowly, trying to shake off the crippling feeling of despair that suddenly cut through his heart. Why him? Why now? Did he really not have an ounce of luck on his side? An involuntary tremor coursed down his spine. The adrenaline was wearing off and the stabbing pain made itself evident once again. He couldn’t take much more, that was certain. 

“Law-san,” The admiral spoke with a hint of surprise. “Are you trying to escape?” 

The young man stared back numbly, frozen in place. The space was small. There was nowhere to run but back down the corridor in the opposite direction and that would just be stupid. He was trapped. Cornered. His body trembled from pain and exhaustion. The old swordsman regarded the captain wearily, the silence tense all around them. Law breathed heavily, forcing himself to still the panic of his beating heart. He acted to rashly. He let his emotions take over and that never ended well. _What now?_

“Getting used to being Joker’s lap dog?” Law spoke first, shattering the heavy stillness in the air. He braced himself and stood up slowly, schooling his features and smirking at his opponent. He prayed to god his voice seemed far more convincing than it sounded to him. “He has you well trained.”

This plan was stupid and desperate. Whatever. 

Purple Tiger frowned. 

“Or is it Sakazuki you heel for?” He wished he had his sword. This would have been a lot easier if he had his sword. “For a man who speaks so highly of justice, you sure spend a lot of time playing fetch for the wrong men.”

“You are no threat to me as you are now.”

“You think so?” He stepped back toward the window keeping both eyes trained on the marine. He brought his right hand up and curled his damaged fingers into the position to create a room. “Would you bet on it? Hurry- I might get away.” 

Fugitora knew he wasn’t a threat and that there was not a chance in hell he could escape this place. Law knew that. But all he needed was one good hit. There was so much damage: It wouldn’t take much to send him past the point of no return. Better to die here than to be sent back to die at the hands of that mad man. He couldn’t give Joker the satisfaction. He couldn’t.

“What are you doing, young man?” the admiral asked solemnly. “Are you trying to provoke me? Calm yourself. You do not want to die now.” 

“Tch,” the captain scowled bitterly and whispered almost to himself, “The hell would you know?”

Fugitora sensed the doctor’s fear. Anger. Despair. He had stood by and did nothing while the young man was brutally tortured practically in front of him. Brutalized to the point of longing for death. He pitied him. He really did. 

“You don’t deserve death. That is not justice.”

Law almost laughed. _But I deserve that?_

“Your justice means nothing to me!” the shichibukai glared. “If you’re going to take me down, do it. If not, then get out of my way.” 

Hand on the pommel of his sword, Fujitora narrowed his scarred eyes and sunk into a more defensive stance. There was no point in using excessive force but he couldn’t let the pirate get away—

“OOOooooooiiii!!!!! TOOORRRAAAAOOOO!!!!” 

A streak of red crashed through the window to his right in between him and his target. Strawhat Luffy made his entrance, careening into the hallway in an explosion of glass and dust and destruction. He carried with him a dark-haired dancer girl and a toy and it was downright bizarre. The Purple Tiger scowled. 

“Mugiwara-ya?” Law’s eyes widened in shock but that was short-lived. Just as quickly as Luffy burst into the hallway, he was off, grabbing the doctor in his stretched out arm and sprinting down the corridor with all three of his charges. _Like captives_ , Law thought to himself, as he was squished up next to a toy soldier. 

Fujitora stepped forward to chase after them and then stopped midstride. Through the broken window, he sensed a different wrong, another presence that worried him more so than the pirates brazenly running through their enemy’s stronghold. Doflamingo will take care of them easily enough. He had more pressing matters to attend to. On the other side of the hallway, the captain of the Strawhat pirates pivoted and rushed up the stairs up to the top floor.

“Torao!!” Luffy beamed. “You’re alive! We’re here to rescue you.” 

“Idiot!” Trafalgar Law yelled back “You were supposed to destroy the factory! What the hell are you doing here?” 

“Hehehe,” Luffy chuckled. “Rescuing you of course! That’s what I just said, isn’t it?”

The Shichibukai scowled.

“We’re here to save King Riku,” the toy soldier added gravely. “And I will not let Doflamingo get away with his crimes against the people of this country.”

“Tch,” Law scowled, well aware that any menacing tone he tried to project would be undercut by the indignant way he was currently being jostled around under the other captain’s arm. _The toy wants revenge on Joker too._ Figures. “Doesn’t matter. Mugiwara-ya, you haven’t followed a single part of the plan. I’m ending our alliance. It’s over, I don’t need your help anymore.” 

“Eh? Luffy frowned dismissively. “You can’t decide that on your own! I’m the one that decides that.” 

_What?_ Law glared but didn’t have time to process everything wrong with that statement as they neared that damned throne room once again. There, Doflamingo and some of the Donquixote family members were indeed interrogating the former King and Law froze at the sight of it. After all the effort he spent trying to get away from that room, that damned Strawhat unknowingly brought him back again. Dammit. 

What happened next was a flurry of violence and yelling and utter chaos as the toy soldier spontaneously turned into a very large grown man with a sword and proceeded to slice off Joker’s head and take down Buffalo. From one incredulous moment to another, Joker turned out to be a string clone and inevitably Law found himself jettisoned out of the palace by Pica along with everyone else, but not before Joker promised to seal their fate indefinitely.

“I have no choice. I’ll have to use the ‘Birdcage’.” 

The captain of the Heart Pirates cursed as he fell. 

_GODDAMMIT ALL!_

\---

“Stray close to my friends, Rebecca. I’ll end this game right away!” Strawhat Luffy yelled into the den den mushi. “I’ll definitely kick Doflamingo’s ass!!”

Dumb bastard. Law thought to himself in frustration as he casually scanned across the faces of the group currently gathered around the spot where they fell from the palace. After Luffy and Robin caught up to speed and the captain hung up the snail phone, Law addressed him directly. 

“My strategy was to leave Doflamingo alive to make him clash with Kaido. If you kill him now then Kaido’s rage for losing the smile factory will all end upon us,” he explained the gravity of the situation as clearly as he could. “We’ll have to fight directly against one of the yonko!”

“We can talk about that later,” Luffy retorted, utterly ignoring his logic. “Look at this country! Do you have any idea what what’ll happen if I stop now?!!” 

The other captain stared back in shock at his utter lack of foresight but, yes, the birdcage still hovered above them ominously. _What would happen?_ The same as on Minion Island, he supposed. The sheer number of atrocities Joker so enthusiastically committed over and over and over again was nothing short of unforgivable. Law hated him for that, for how he constantly got away with it. 

The doctor tried to stand but his injured leg buckled and he sunk to the ground once again. He curled his fists in frustration, the vicious brand of the Donxiquote family stinging his skin.

“Oi, Torao,” Strawhat was looking down at him and this time his usually careless demeanor slipped away leaving a more serious tone of genuine concern. And he was looking at his _hands_. “Are you alright?”

Law’s eyes widened and he quickly slipped his marked hands into the pockets of his jacket and out of sight. _Shit. I’m being so careless_. Luffy was still staring at him questioningly and he couldn’t stand it. 

“Don’t worry about me,” the Surgeon of Death replied coolly, glancing to the side. “I’ll be alright once Doflamingo is dead.”

“Mingo…” Luffy growled. “He hurt Violet and Rebecca and messed with the citizens of this country. And he cut you up. That’s unforgivable. I’m definitely going to kick his ass.”

Law winced, not really sure how to feel about being put on that list. Yet Mugiwara-ya made up his mind and there was no stopping him. This wasn’t a battle that can be won on your own with sheer brute force; Law knew this from first-hand experience. But isn’t that what the Strawhat captain was known for? Performing miracles? The doctor contemplated this from every angle. The original plan had fallen through and it felt like his ambition was not quite complete. Leaving Doflamingo to Kaido… it was too much of a gamble. He himself was already severally injured and another confrontation would surely kill him. _But the rage remained._ And honestly, if he was going to die anyways, wouldn’t it be a fitting end to take Doflamingo down with him? What ever happened after was none of his concern.

“I understand your frustration, but you cannot underestimate Joker. He is capable of a lot more than you think,” Law addressed the other captain sternly after having made up his mind. “If you’re going to go after him, I’m coming with you.”

Luffy’s ears perked up, finally paying attention.

“Listen, Mugiwara-ya,” the Captain of the Heart Pirates continued. “I have a plan.”

\---

\------

\---

In the end, whether it was being carried over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes or clinging on to the back of a bull, Luffy dragged Law across the battlefield to face Doflamingo together. And even after Doflamingo cut off his arm and set him on fire, Law flipped him off and spat in his face. 

“The Straw Hat Pirates are a group that make miracles happen! They won’t be defeated by someone like you and you won’t get Caesar back either!”

Revenge won’t bring back the dead, nor change the memories of the past. But watching Luffy deliver the final blow that finally brought the Heavenly Demon crashing back down to earth certainly brought with it a tranquility that Law hadn’t felt in what seemed like a lifetime. 

\---

\------

\---

“That son of a bitch. He actually did it.”

Sachi murmured to himself as the Heart Pirates gathered around the newest newspaper that fell from the sky. That flimsy piece of rolled up paper was like a godsend and the crew instantly settled around in a circle to take in the incredible information on the front page. 

‘Supernovas Strawhat Luffy and Trafalgar Law Defeat Shichibukai Donxiquote Doflamingo in Dressrosa’

“Yesss!!!” Bepo instantly jumped up in celebration. 

“Fuck yes,” Sachi grinned, Penguin smirking by his side. This was good news. Great news. The best news they had since they learned of the alliance with the Strawhat crew from a newspaper a little while back, the only information they had regarding the whereabouts of their rogue captain. A captain who intentionally left them in the dark without any means of communication— something that still bothered the red-head enormously. But to see that Law’s ultimate gamble indeed paid off in the end and resulted in victory…that was a major relief.

“Does this mean we’ll see the Captain again soon?” Bepo exclaimed excitedly, still jumping up and down. 

“The paper said the pirate crews fled Dressrosa shortly after,” Penguin nodded. “So that’s a reasonable assumption.”

“Aye. Plus, it looks like we’re still allied with those crazy Strawhats,” The red-head added. “Things are going to get interesting.”

Sachi couldn’t stop smiling as Bepo got even more riled up, dragging some of the other crewmates into his enthusiasm. He and Penguin exchanged a knowing look. This was definitely a cause for celebrating and yet…nothing was ever simple and straightforward with their captain. There were still some hurt feelings around the crew for being left behind in Zhou while he went off on his own, just as there were a lot of implications to process when it came to Doflamingo’s defeat. 

Captain Trafalgar Law’s ambition to get revenge on Donxiquote Doflamingo was no secret aboard the Polar Tang. How could it be, when a lot of the orders he made revolved around gathering intel on the seedy underbelly that was the black market trade just to get the upper hand on the Heavenly Demon? There were late nights when the three of them would be awake drinking sake and the younger captain would let something else slip regarding his time with the Donxiquote family. Sachi knew of Corazon, of the Amber Lead Syndrome, and of the path that led the young boy to stumble upon them back on those cold islands in the North Blue, just like Law knew of his own unfortunate upbringing. They all had their baggage, though the captain felt the weight of it more than anyone else. Despite getting older and stronger and more skilled with his devil fruit, Law carried with him the anger and the pain of that pervious life like a shroud.

But there were moments where that intensity receded into the background noise of the steady hum of the submarine’s engine. Those where the moments of calm where the captain seemed most relaxed, surrounded by the comfort of a crew deep beneath the ocean’s surface where even his demons couldn’t reach. 

Those were the best of times. 

_< “I want it,” Law turned to him with an unbridled childish gleam in his eyes after spotting Kikkoku just out of reach._

_“Aye, aye, Captain.” Sachi had grinned. “Let’s go steal some shit!” >_

And then something would inevitably happen that would pull them out of that stillness, that reverie that was normalcy on the Grand Line. 

_< “I’m still too weak. I’m still not strong enough! How can I change anything if I can’t even protect my crew? “>_

It wasn’t always in Law’s control when something would happen that would snap the Heart Pirates back into the realization that this wasn’t all fun and games, that they had to always be cautious and always be wary of their place in the food chain. 

It wasn’t the right time. They weren’t ready. Not yet. It was never quite the right time, not for a decade. In the eyes of the Surgeon of Death, the world seemed to burn around him and everything ceased to matter except ‘he will pay’ and the stress of it all crashed back in and settled in his bones. 

Sachi was glad that chapter was over and behind them. Penguin smiled from under his hat next to him, having reached the same conclusion regarding the fate of their nakama of over ten years. This was a good sign that perhaps now their captain would finally be free. 

\---

He hesitates when they finally reach Zhou. Bepo’s vivre card feels heavy in his pocket. But when Robin prompts him, Law pretends he forgot he even had it. 

“I didn’t think I’d be able to see them again in the first place,” he says nihilistically yet so casually that the others don’t even question it. 

He hasn’t forgotten. The tiny piece of paper carries with it all the weight of his decisions of the past few months and the promise of seeing his nakama again (whether he was ready to or not). Something deep down makes him pause, however. After he parts ways with the strawhats and the minks and marches off into the jungle with the piece of paper in hand, he forces himself to walk slowly but deliberately onwards. The pirate captain hesitates in the dark jungle as half of him screams for him _to_ _go to them_ and the other half whispers _to run away_ , that he shouldn’t be here. That he doesn’t _deserve_ —

A familiar presence jerked his head up and he stared into the darkness ahead, smiling despite himself, and the darker thoughts recede from his mind. 

“CAPTAIN!!!” 

The large furry polar bear launches himself at the captain and the rest of the lot shuffle into view behind him, exclaiming their congratulations and greetings all at once without hesitation and without restraint. Law finally reunites with his crew like he promised to them so long ago and despite the unsettling feeling of guilt deep in his gut, he smiles back. The dark thoughts recede, and he finds himself actually, genuinely, and with his whole being, entirely happy to be there after all.

\---

They party that night. Or rather, the Strawhats, minks, and the Heart Pirates party that night. The Heart Pirate’s captain, on the other hand, slinked away into the underbrush as soon as the festivities started, his heart not quite in it this time. He already had to suffer through another Strawhat party on the way to Zhou. Yes, he missed his crew, but he couldn’t possibly sit through another one quite so soon after.

“Shambles,” that captain said softly, teleporting up to one of the taller branches in the higher trees. The air is cold and crisp and the jungle is quiet and inviting. From up there he could see the lights of the party below, the far reaches of the forest canopy, and the sea far off in the distance all bathed in the glow of the moonlight. 

Zhou is a mystery yet the knowledge that this is Bepo’s homeland calms his mistrustful mind. The darkness of the forest is more comfortable than anything, somehow strangely familiar despite him only stepping foot on the back of the giant elephant just a few hours prior. He could get used to staying here, but the threat of Kaido’s wrath loomed before them and they couldn’t stay long. The next destination was Wano and they set out soon.

Law sighed and leaned against the tree trunk. Even resting against the bark agitated the wounds on his back. Settling down into a seated position shot a jolt of pain through his leg where he was stabbed through, and the stitching across his upper arm pulled against his skin. The countless bruises and bullet marks across his body were fading slowly but still ached, the soreness never quite leaving his muscles and making it difficult to get the rest he needed to heal faster. In other words, everything _hurt_. The dwarf girl with the healing ability only focused on treating the most pressing injuries, opting to spread her power thinly across a multitude of injured warriors throughout Dressrosa. 

His arm worried him, and he flexed the fingers just to get the blood circulating a bit more. His reflexes were currently shot to hell but his medically trained mind told him the nerves just needed time to regenerate. Getting back full functionality will take time and constant effort through prolonged physical therapy. He also knew for a fact that if it wasn’t for the absurd coincidence that those two dwarves with the exact necessary devil fruit abilities were around to stitch him together and heal him, he would have lost it entirely. The thought of it made him shudder. Sure, there were plenty of pirates out there with a missing limb or two, but his profession depended on the use of his hands. Even with the Ope-ope no mi, surgery required two hands. _Hands…_

The Surgeon of Death gripped the sheath of his sword tightly. The marks of Doflamingo’s jolly roger slashed into the backs of his hands were a disgrace. _Completely intolerable._

Law _hated_ him for it. He hated what they represented and hated the memories those marks reminded him of. An errant thought at the back of his mind nagged him further: his injuries were prone to infection in this environment and will need to be replaced soon…and he wouldn’t be able to do it properly by himself. The dark-haired doctor scowled and leaned forward resting his forehead lightly against Kikkoku’s hilt. 

He wasn’t sure he wanted to go through that just yet. The bruises haven’t even healed yet. 

The captain filled his crew in on the main events on Dressrosa and what had happened on Punk Hazard prior, but he didn’t go into specifics and certainly never mentioned anything beyond what was necessary. Law was in no mood to rehash the past few days in detail. Honestly, there are parts of it he would rather wipe from his memory entirely and pretend it never happened. If they wanted to know more, they’d ask. Or, they’d ask the Strawhat crew. That would be less than ideal though also more likely. They’ll look for answers wherever they could get them. Despite the generally jovial tone that permeated their reunion, Law didn’t miss the subtle questioning looks he got from Penguin or the mistrustful furtive glances from Sachi when the redhead didn’t think his captain was watching. And if Law had to listen to Bepo ask him one more time if he was okay < _‘really okay?’_ > with that damn look of concern in his big eyes then he might just lose it entirely. 

Law’s breath hitched. The nauseous feeling of guilt and anxiety making itself known once again. No matter what the captain promised his crew beforehand, he left and he didn’t expect to see them again. 

Yes, living past his confrontation with Joker certainly had its upsides. But maybe it would have been easier to not have to deal with all the _shit_ that came after. 

The sea glimmered under the light of the moon in the far distance. It was quite beautiful, and it called to him. The sea brought with it an incredible kind of freedom to do whatever he wanted and go wherever he wanted from here. After Kaido, of course. A promise is a promise and despite it not being the original plan, damn, it sounded fun to fight against an enemy without the complications of having any personal stake in the outcome. That would be refreshing. With Doflamingo now deep down in the depths of hell that is Impel Down, Law didn’t have to think about him ever again. And if they somehow miraculously survive fighting a yonko…what then? He never really had to think about it before. The boy from White Town leaned back against the giant tree and rested his sword lightly across his shoulder.

“What now, Cora-san?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Law needed a quite moment to himself. He deserves it.
> 
> I mentioned that I changed the direction of this fic. It's because I wrote chapter 4 before I wrote this one and it is HEAVY but it is my favorite. I have 95% of it finished so look forward one more update very, very soon.


	4. Not Your Fault

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being home never felt more free, but that hasn’t stopped the secrets and the lies and the lack of trust. Angry, Shachi confronts his captain about leaving them behind in Zhou. A grim and emotional take on the submarine ride to Wano.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I misspell Shachi's name in the previous chapter? Oops. Anyways, in my head cannon, he would be the sharpshooter of the crew. Bite me. 
> 
> Soundtrack: Not Your Fault by AWOLNATION.

_Oh, it's not that you should care._   
_I just wanted you to know._

_I'm a fight with myself_   
_Till I'm bleeding._   
_Just a taste of your skin_   
_Starts the healing._   
_Anyone from my past_   
_Get your ammo._   
_Find my sun in the dark side_   
_Of my shadow._

_This love found us_   
_Now I see it._   
_This love up down._   
_Please believe._

Shachi had the steadiest hands of all of them. He kept his cool in the heat of battle. Unlike other soldiers, the redhead never let the surge of adrenaline spiral him out of control when he had his finger on the trigger, round after round. Every shot was calculated and controlled. He was unshakable and that’s why Trafalgar Law called for him.

Shachi didn’t blink an eye or lose a second, he just put down the wrench he was using to help out Ikkaku with some modifications to the sub and followed the younger man to the medical bay. The Captain called him over to help with changing the bandages on his arms, and the sharpshooter complied.

Yet…That ominous cloud of _something_ hung over them still. He could feel the pressure of it looming over the submarine, despite the new addition of half of the Strawhat Pirates temporarily catching a ride on board. There was a lot left unsaid. It was difficult to get back to normal— whatever normal was to begin with. He wasn’t the only one who sensed it, but just like Penguin, Sashi pushed it down. Avoided confrontation. Their captain returned, like he said he would ( _ ~~liar)~~_. That’s what mattered, right?

Shachi’s hands were steady as he helped Law peel the older bandages off, but his movements were stiff and his posture tense.

It didn’t matter if, for example, they were left waiting _abandoned_ as months went by, and the seasons turned, without a word from their nakama. Left in limbo. Purposeless. He didn’t even leave a den den mushi, _that bastard…_

When he finally did come back, when he finally walked into the forest and greeted them, they were actually surprised that he’d returned. The captain seemed the most surprised out of all of them, and just the thought of that left a bad taste in his mouth. It wasn’t something the Hearts talked about, yet it remained hanging in the air unspoken but obvious to all of them. Law didn’t expect to return either.

The redhead flinched when he saw the extend of the lacerations covering the surgeon’s hands and arms. The cuts across the back of his hands were brutal and didn’t look like injuries from a normal battle. But if he noticed, he didn’t show it. The doctor didn’t confirm nor deny it, opting to let the evidence speak for itself. Let the sharpshooter come to his own conclusions.

“There was a dwarf in Dressrosa with a healing devil fruit. She healed the arm and the severe injuries, but stuff like this will need to heal on its own,” Law explained calmly.

Shachi hmmm’d in response.

“It was strange to see another ability user able to bypass all the complexities of actually practicing medicine,” the surgeon mused, seeking to fill the empty silence between them. “Certainly more efficient than the _ope ope no mi_ , though her powers were far from the most bizarre on that damn island.”

“How would I know? I wasn’t there,” Shachi replied coldly as he worked. Law paused, a bit taken aback.

“Is there something you want to say to me?” Law stared at him questioningly from beneath the fringe of his hair.

Shachi shook his head and continued his work wordlessly. _Oh there are a number of things he wanted to say… Push it down, Shachi._ The Captain stared at him intently, trying to read his expression but the redhead said nothing. The awkward silence settled around them once again. After a while, he finished with one hand and began the other.

“Is it possible to cover this up with some more ink?” The sharpshooter asked quietly to break the tension as he reached for some more bandages.

“Who knows?” Law replied softly. They both knew. Scar tissue didn’t take ink well. There wasn’t enough ink in the world to cover that up. The heinous mark of the Doflamingo family slowly disappeared from view as he laid the bandages across the skin of his captains hand with careful precision. He looked over the scar around the surgeon’s upper arm, too, and cleaned the wound up with more antiseptic and more gauze. That one was nasty, and prone to infections.

After wrapping the final bandages around and around and around his captain’s outstretched arm, Shachi remained. Uncharacteristically cold and quiet but present.

“Let me see your other injuries.”

“There aren’t any other injuries,” Law replied, perhaps a bit too quickly. “None that would require your help, anyways.” 

Shachi’s eyes narrowed. _That’s not true._ When the two supernovas sunk their claws into the heavenly demon to pull him down to the cold reality of the real world, Trafalgar Law took the brunt of his fury. Shachi knows this because that is what he learned from the Strawhats who _were there_ , while _they were_ _not_.

“No, we’re not done.”

“The rest is minor, I can handle it on my own,” The captain’s cold eyes met his incredulous expression.

Shachi ignored him and leaned back in his chair, crossing his hands over his chest. God, he wished he had a cigarette right now. ( _Not in the medical bay_ , Law would say.)

“That’s all I needed your help with. And I need you on the helm helping in case we run into any enemies,”

He was pulling rank on him, asshole. Trying to distance himself as far away as possible—physically, emotionally. _Hierarchically._ Law was back, but he was already pulling away again and it made him angry. And yet, perhaps subconsciously, Law called him here, knowing deep down that he wouldn’t relent.

“We’re not done.” Shachi repeated.

Law glared at him but he didn’t summon his room or leave or push him out.

“A long time ago, you pulled me aside and you told me that patients who refuse treatment are the most at risk. That if anything happens to them, _we_ are responsible. _We_ don’t stop until everyone on the crew is taken care of. _You_ taught me that,” Shachi insisted, arms still crossed over his chest. “Let me take a look at your other injuries.”

“You don’t trust me to treat minor injuries myself?”

“No, _you_ don’t trust _me_ to watch your back so you don’t get any,” Shachi bit back. The tone in the room was shifting and _pushing it down_ was getting harder since nothing has really changed.

“You’re angry.” Law frowned.

 _Yeah, no shit!_ Shachi glared at him. _How tone-deaf do you have to be?_

**“You _left_ us.”**

“Is that what you think?” Law questioned him further, probing at the lingering hurt that remained. “That I left because I didn’t trust you?”

 _“_ What else was I supposed to think?!”

“Shachi, that wasn’t my intention.”

“I don’t think I really know what your intention was in the first place, _Captain_ ,” Shachi replied coldly, exaggerating the title in scorn.

“I didn’t leave because I didn’t think you were capable of helping me,” the raven-haired doctor narrowed his eyes, a razor-sharp edge in his voice that told Shachi he was pulling away again. “I’m sorry you interpreted it that way. But I didn’t think you were that _weak-minded_ that my decisions caused you to doubt your own abilities.”

“Fuck you.”

The two crewmates stared at each other in a stalemate. Law looked down at him from his higher up spot on the medical gurney, the distance widening between them exponentially with every passing second. Shachi willed himself to steady his breathing, to calm down, because this was only making him angrier. There is a little inkling of truth in his Captain’s words that cut down to his core, goading him into losing his cool and he grasped on to it, pulling up words that he knew would hurt.

“Despite everything you went through to defeat Doflamingo, _you sure as hell sound like him._ ”

He almost regretted saying those words. Law looked stricken as if he just slapped him across the face. But Shachi was still angry, and this wasn’t how this was supposed to go.

“Don’t pull that shit against your own crew, you asshole. A captain that doesn’t trust his crew has no right leading it.”

Tense seconds ticked. Shachi wondered if he had gone too far, possibly stepped over the line. Law opened his mouth to speak then immediately shut it again, mentally struggling with himself to find the right words to say but inevitably saying nothing. Shachi almost felt bad. Almost. It was frankly astounding how difficult it was for the younger man to apologize— just to say ‘sorry.’

“Are you angry that I fought Doflamingo without you?” Law finally asked quietly.

“No, what angers me is how easily you lie to me.”

Law’s eyes widened. < _”Did you lie to them? Like you lied to the Strawhats?”_ >

The sharpshooter knew he hit a nerve. Maybe he was being harsh, but Shachi hoped that the hurt the captain left behind carried through his words, to show him that his actions had consequences outside of himself. Consequences that affected other people.

“It’s not easy,” the captain whispered and lowered his head to stare at his clenched hands.

“So why the lies?”

“They’re not lies,” Law snapped but avoided any eye contact and that was telling enough.

“Bullshit,” Shachi stared at him, unmoving. “You’re lying about your injuries right now.” _Don’t make this any worse. Please._ Law ignored him.

“It’s more like a series of untold truths.”

“Semantics, Captain. Why didn’t you just tell us the truth to begin with? Why didn’t you trust us with knowing?”

“Why does anyone lie…?” Law hummed, a haunted look in his eyes < _”I’m not a Marine!”_ >. “I firmly believe it would be better that you didn’t know.”

“Better?” Shachi repeated, incredulous and raged internally. On the outside he didn’t let that show. The captain didn’t answer. _Better as in wallowing away in Zhou waiting for a Captain who would never return? Better as in never knowing the whole story, never knowing why they spent ten years travelling the seas together only to be abandoned on the back of an elephant?_ “Better _how?_ ”

Law stayed ever silent, still not meeting his crewmate’s gaze.

“Captain, I’m just trying to understand. We spent over ten years in these walls. Pirate crew or whatever, it does feel like the family I never had growing up, and I know for sure I’m not the only one on this submarine that thinks so. In fact, I know I’m not,” the redhead was not one for sentimental heart-to-hearts, but there was so much left unsaid on the Polar Tang that there was no way he would leave this opportune moment to speak up. Not when one of his oldest friends started pulling away from the life they built together without any signs of remorse. “I guess I had the impression that those years meant something to you, too. Knowing that, and knowing you went off by yourself anyways… I don’t know how else to put it. It’s hurtful.”

Silence.

“I understand the person who that bastard took away from you was very special to you,” Shachi was treading on thin ice, yet continued ever onward. “But we’re nakama. You know we love you too, right?”

Law looked up sharply _< ‘Law! I love you!’> _and Shachi immediately tried to gauge his reaction. Shock? Maybe. Anger? A little. _Fear?_

As moments ticked by, the sharpshooter realized that he wasn’t going to get an answer, at least not a verbal one. Not that he expected the younger man to return the display of sentimentality. The captain of the Heart Pirates was either still processing the information or he’s finished processing and his brain malfunctioned. Probably the later.

So, in the end, Shachi spoke up first. Because Law called for him first. Law trusted him with seeing the scars that his most hated enemy left behind. Law called for him, and even though the Captain made it extremely difficult, made it so Shachi had to chip away at him bit by bit, _molecule by molecule_ , to get anywhere, and even if he was being a colossal dick about it and not even going to apologize, Shachi would always help his nakama. Always.

“Let me see your other injuries.”

To his surprise, the dark-haired man nodded slightly after a moment of contemplation, finally relenting if somewhat reluctantly.

“Fucking finally,” Shachi mumbled to himself but didn’t miss how the younger man flinched back when the redhead stood up and drew closer. _Fucking hell! He does **not** make this easy. _Shachi sighed and Law twisted around for the sharpshooter with the steady hands to have a better angle to begin undoing the old bandages warped around the doctor’s torso. 

“I’m sorry.” The apology slipped through after a few moments so quietly and so unexpectedly that Shachi had to pause and second guess if he misheard. “I _have_ lied. Probably because I don’t want you to think less of me.”

“Hah!” Shachi scoffed. “That’s it?”

The darker-haired man glared at him. Whatever reaction he was expecting, this wasn’t it.

“Captain, we know you well enough to know you’re not a good person. Well, at least not a _great_ one. So unless you started killing innocent civilians and crucifying them on stakes just for the sheer hell of it, I don’t think my impression of you is going to change much.”

( _Ah, a favorite inside joke of the Heart crew at the expense of their other supernova rivals… Who the hell has the time to go through the effort of making so many stakes and tying people up to them? The theatricality of it all in contrast with such a macho crew was just too ridiculous… Just, why?)_

“Oi, and hate to break it to you but we already know you’re a selfish bastard. Sorry, you ain’t fooling anyone there,” he continued, stroking his chin as if in thought. “Hell, isn’t that what makes a good pirate in the first place?”

“That’s not what I meant,” Law retorted, not amused in the slightest.

“No more secrets, Captain,” Shachi warned, his mocking tone disappearing in an instant. _Ah, did you think I would take your dumbass explanation seriously? Hmm?_

“No more secrets,” The doctor grit his teeth, an internal battle raging in his mind.

Shachi could feel the doctor tremble as if he slowly pulled back the layers of bandaging to reveal the scars of the brutal battle underneath. There, sitting in the massive empty medical bay, the pirate captain suddenly looked much younger and much more frail than Shachi had ever seen him since the day they met when Law was still recovering from the Amber Lead poison that once clogged his veins. The captain trembled like he wasn’t entirely prepared for what he had already consented to, but he didn’t run. Instead, he began talking.

“I didn’t leave because I thought you were too weak to help me. I never thought you weren’t strong enough. Never,” His eyes seemed to go blank and Shachi wondered if talking was a way for the man to distract himself from what was currently happening, to distance himself once again. “I couldn’t tell you where I was going or how because I trusted that you would come after me regardless. And I couldn’t have that.”

As he listened, the cynical part of Shachi’s brain questioned whether this explanation was fabricated as just a way to placate him. Was this Law, the master manipulator, spinning a story that he knew would get Shachi off his back? Telling him what he wanted to hear? _Or was this genuine?_ Is this what Law really believed in his messed up brain to justify leaving his nakama behind? Was Shachi going to bear witness to how the doctor’s mind warped reality to make him feel better about his decisions?

The redhead vaguely wondered what the Captain would think if he knew Shachi thought of him as being just a little fucked up. To be fair, they were all a bit fucked up, but Law was in a league of his own: his personality distorted by trauma at a very young age and exacerbated in equal measure by intense moments of love, hate, hope, and crushing despair. Shachi knew this but followed him anyways. So what did that say about him? Deep down, perhaps he shouldn’t be so surprised or angry that the devil-fruit user with the tragic past and the chip on his shoulder would go to such extremes to rid himself of his demons.

“I didn’t want any of you caught up in it,” Law continued. There was a slight nervousness in his voice that Shachi wasn’t entirely familiar with. “If anything happened to you, _any of you_ , I don’t think I could live with myself. After all, it’s not your fight.”

Shachi wanted to protest but stayed quiet, more engrossed in the task at hand. Removing the bandages revealed more and more injuries of varying severity. _Minor injuries, my ass…_

“I wanted to get revenge: revenge for a man that none of you had ever met. If any of you got hurt or killed because of my ambition…that wouldn’t be fair to you…and it would be entirely my fault.”

The sharpshooter listened carefully. The slight tremor in his captain’s voice matched the slight winces of pain as Shachi’s hands brushed against the more grievous injuries. The stab wounds and more serious lacerations across his back and chest were disconcerting. Wait, was he _shot_?

“No, I decided if anything would happen, I would take all the consequences. As long as no one else got involved…I could accept death in return for Doflamingo’s defeat.”

Shachi winced at those words: a brutally honest admission that now he didn’t really want to hear. The last of the bandages lay discarded on the floor, revealing a patchwork of semi-healed wounds and bruises all over his body, and with that vulnerability finally came the truth.

“That’s not what happened,” the Captain stared intently at the bandages around his scarred hands. He still wouldn’t look him in the eyes, and his voice remained flat and hallow. _Dissociation_ , Shachi’s semi-trained medical mind supplied. “For better or for worse.”

Shachi was well aware now that he was privy to something that perhaps he shouldn’t be: the darker side of Law’s fucked up personality that usually never really manifested itself, at least not in front of other people. Anger he could relate to, but depression was a completely different ball game. Something about confronting Joker left Law shaken, and Shachi was invited to put the pieces together.

“Those wounds on your hands are self-inflicted,” Shachi stated flatly. The redhead was well aware of the ex-Schichibukai’s _ito ito no mi_ powers.

Law grimaced. _Ah, so he noticed._

“He tortured you.”

“Yeah, he put me through hell,” Law admitted. “But I put myself there, didn’t I?”

Shachi didn’t have an answer to that, still studying the extent of the damage Law was subjected to. He softly traced the suspect patterns of bruises on his back with his fingertips.

“Doflamingo is a psychopath, Shachi,” Law reiterated. “I wanted all of you as far away from him as possible. He would have torn you all apart as soon as I challenged him.”

The sharpshooter believed him. He believed him because nothing about this felt right and the more he stared at the doctor’s injuries, the more the feeling of dread deep in his gut intensified. His hand hovered over a particularly large bruise near his waist and his blood ran cold. _Handprints._

“Law…”

Law’s heart skipped a beat. Shachi never used his first name. Never.

“What did he do?” Shachi growled, the dark tone in his voice putting even the Surgeon of Death on edge.

Law stared back at him and yes, there was definitely fear in his eyes. Shachi’s breath hitched.

“Law _._ What _else_ did he do?”

“Don’t make me say it.” _Please._

“FUCK!” Shachi shot to his feet and kicked the metal chair across the room. _No, no, no, no…._

“I’m sorry,” Law was shaking visibly now, as realization dawned on him that he may have just opened up a Pandora’s box that now he might have preferred to keep shut. “I didn’t want you to—"

<“… _I don’t want you to think less of me._ ”>

“SHIT!!” _Oh no. Oh no, no, no…_ He had laughed him off when the doctor tried to explain himself earlier. He didn’t take him seriously. The redhead processed this as he paced around the room, his hands nervously wrapped around his head and _SHIT…_ No matter if it was Law’s decision to fight Doflamingo alone in the first place, somehow their captain and friend of ten years found himself in a situation _alone_ where the preferable outcome was death, because the alternative was _torture and rape_. “What the actual _fuck?!_ ”

The doctor stared back at him with a worried expression in his dark eyes, as if Shachi was the one that needed comforting, and it wasn’t fair. _It wasn’t fair_.

He willed himself to calm down and leaned against the side of the table. How? _Why?_

“Shachi,” Law called to him.

He looked up, meeting his captains gaze with wide eyes. He opened his mouth to speak but didn’t really know what to say, or how to react. Law said nothing either, the errant thought of ‘ _oh god, I don’t really want to deal with this right now_ ’ crossing both their minds.

“Maybe if we were there, we could have stopped—”

“Don’t,” Law warned. “Don’t say that.”

The sharpshooter grimaced. But what could he think? The only thing crossing his mind is holy shit how is this happening and _why_ is this happening and _what could I have done differently to change it_?

“I’m sorry, Shachi. But maybe it would have been better if you didn’t kn—"

“NO!” the redhead cut him off. “No. I’m glad you told me.”

Law looked unsure. Shachi sighed again and ran his fingers through his hair.

“Do you think differently of me now?”

“Fuck, Captain.”

“No, I want you to understand,” Law started, still trembling a little. Still not wanting to be having this conversation but powering through it regardless. “It was my choice to go up against Joker, knowing full well what a lunatic he is. I… I expected the worst. Well, I didn’t expect _that_ , but I told myself I was willing to pay whatever price necessary to bring him down. I put myself in that situation. That was my mistake for underestimating what he was capable of, and not _planning_ for it. But in the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t really —"

“Shut up!” Shachi gaped. “Captain, it wasn’t your fault.”

“I provoked him.”

“No,” Shachi seethed. _Normal people don’t have that reaction when provoked._ “Doflamingo is a _goddamn_ psychopath. None of what he did was your fault.”

The dark-haired man looked uneasy.

“It’s not your fault,” He didn’t know how many times he needed to repeat that for Law to understand. Maybe he never will. But if Shachi has to repeat it for the rest of time until that stubborn son of a bitch finally gets it, he will. “It’s _not_ your fault.”

“…"

“And how could I think differently of you?” The sharpshooter said quietly. Despite everything his enemy put him through, Law turned around and sank his teeth into his throat. He and Strawhat defeated Joker and now he was rotting in a cell in the very depths of Hell. The doctor was by far one of the strongest people he’s ever known. “Doflamingo put you through _hell_ and you still turned around and kicked his ass.”

Law looked surprised.

“I don’t think I could ever do something as badass as that,” a pained smirk crossed his face. “The only thing that’s changed is I hate him more now.”

The Captain’s reaction was characteristically unreadable. Shachi stood up and walked over to when Law was sitting. The other tensed as he drew closer but didn’t pull away when his nakama wrapped his arms around him in a tight hug.

“You’re going to be alright, Captain,” Shachi promised and Law wrapped his arms around him in turn. Something about the sheer sincerity in his friend’s voice resonated somewhere deep down and maybe he was right. Maybe it will be alright. Doflamingo was gone now. He had fulfilled his objective, that years-old ambition that had always loomed in the back of him mind. He felt freer than he probably ever felt, and he was back with his crew. Free to do whatever they wanted from here on out.

“Are you planning on telling the others?” The redhead asked after pulling away.

“Hmm,” Law contemplated, though the very thought of it was dreadful. “Eventually.”

“You should,” Shachi encouraged softly, knowing full well that it wouldn’t change overnight. Knowing how difficult it was to pry it out of him and seeing how emotionally exhausted the doctor looked now.

“Yeah, yeah,” Law brushed him off but smiled weakly in return, and this time it was genuine. This will take time. But they’ll get there.

“Well then,” the sharpshooter started awkwardly. “Let’s finish up with these bandages.”

The captain nodded and he resumed his work, the tension from before dissipating and a familiar comradely settling in once again. After a few minutes work, a new thought crossed his mind.

“So, Kaido, huh?”

“Yup. Kaido,” Law smirked, smiling to himself.

“Alright,” Shachi smiled too. “Let’s fucking do it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> End. Urgh now I have so many ideas for some more light-hearted Heart Pirate adventure stories. They are just so easy to put into amazingly crazy scenarios. 
> 
> Anyways, comment and let me know what you think. I know the issues tackled in this fic are quite heavy and not everyone's cup of tea, but I enjoyed writing it and diving into the darker sides of trauma and the aftermath of it all. Cheers.


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